Death is “the great equalizer,” Jody is right. “Nobody gets out of here alive.” No matter your race, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, we all experience the loss of someone. If you are capable of love, you are capable of grief. I love when Jody says that we don’t need someone to fix it, we just need to be heard.” It took many years for my husband to understand this. Now that he just listens when I need to spew my day out there is much less stress in an already stressful situation. He does not make suggestions, he just hums and haws in all the right places. That is all I need, I just need to vent.
What does it mean to be “trauma informed?” I really don’t know, I think it is a very good question. I do not have any formal training in trauma, nor how to help someone through a traumatic experience. I, myself, have not been adversely affected by trauma. I have lost loved ones, I have been in a couple of car accidents, but I feel mentally I am none the worse for wear. However, I am fully aware it is “not if, but when.” For my students as well. I feel that I have a solid spiritual understanding that I can muddle through what I need to. However, my littles may not - how can I help them? Jody makes a good point - you have to name it to tame it. I, of course, would follow my little’s lead, but I think pretending nothing has happened, or that that person never existed, does not honour the feelings that are so raw to begin with.
I love the Mitch Albom quote, “Death does not end a relationship.” I love this on so many levels. I believe that on some level that person will always be available to you when and if you need them. I think this is important information for a little to understand. I found it shocking and sad when Jody said that 25% of all children will lose at least one parent by the time they are 18. There is the probability that one in four children in my class have lost a parent. I need to allow the child whatever it is they need at that moment. I hope I can recognize what that is and honour it in the moment.
When I die all I want is for everyone to gather at my house, surround my babies in love, eat open faced egg salad sandwiches (the universal sign of death), bring a lasagne for my babies to put in the freezer and pull out when they don’t feel like cooking and talk, drink and share stories. Fellowship and connection, that is my wish.
That is my view from the 86th Pew,
Michelle
What does it mean to be “trauma informed?” I really don’t know, I think it is a very good question. I do not have any formal training in trauma, nor how to help someone through a traumatic experience. I, myself, have not been adversely affected by trauma. I have lost loved ones, I have been in a couple of car accidents, but I feel mentally I am none the worse for wear. However, I am fully aware it is “not if, but when.” For my students as well. I feel that I have a solid spiritual understanding that I can muddle through what I need to. However, my littles may not - how can I help them? Jody makes a good point - you have to name it to tame it. I, of course, would follow my little’s lead, but I think pretending nothing has happened, or that that person never existed, does not honour the feelings that are so raw to begin with.
I love the Mitch Albom quote, “Death does not end a relationship.” I love this on so many levels. I believe that on some level that person will always be available to you when and if you need them. I think this is important information for a little to understand. I found it shocking and sad when Jody said that 25% of all children will lose at least one parent by the time they are 18. There is the probability that one in four children in my class have lost a parent. I need to allow the child whatever it is they need at that moment. I hope I can recognize what that is and honour it in the moment.
When I die all I want is for everyone to gather at my house, surround my babies in love, eat open faced egg salad sandwiches (the universal sign of death), bring a lasagne for my babies to put in the freezer and pull out when they don’t feel like cooking and talk, drink and share stories. Fellowship and connection, that is my wish.
That is my view from the 86th Pew,
Michelle
RSS Feed
